May 2013
2 tags
the secret history: abbridged
Richard: i hate u all
Richard: ooh pretty college brochure
Richard: peace out bitches
Richard: oh god everythings so shiny
Richard: and out of my league
Richard: can i be in your class
Julian: lol nope poor bye
Richard: PLEASE LUV ME
Julian: lol ok
Henry: *pimpin*
Bunny: yo richard wanna hang
Bunny: lol jk im not actually gonna pay for this meal yolo
Francis and Camilla: *kissy*
Richard: wat
Charles: i made lamb chops~!
Henry: *more pimpin*
Richard: noot noot this is awkward
Camilla: yo richard wanna hang
Richard: oh god not this again but since im secretly obsessed with you ok
Francis: hello mtv welcome to my crib
Everyone: la la la we're so priveleged and white
Camilla: hey is my foot bleeding
Henry: did somebody say damsel in distress
Henry: *aw yis henry's gettin laid tonight*
Richard: wow they seem like such normal happy people *falls asleep*
Henry: ok guys time to get cray and fuck shit up
Everyone else: ok
Bunny: lol no im hungry
Farmer guy: damn kids, get off my lawn!
Everyone: lol no
Farmer guy: *dies*
Henry: shit
Charles: shit
Francis: shit
Camilla: i have laryngitis
Bunny: sugar daddy I mean Henry and I are off to Italy adios bitches
Richard: wait no still poor
Richard: merry christmas, richard, you poor, sad fuck
Richard: fucking fuck its so cold
Henry: did somebody say damsel in distress
Richard: if i weren't straight id totally bang you right now but no
Bunny: bonjour bitches im back from Italy and ready to fuck shit up
Henry and Francis: so yah we basically just fucked shit up behind your back, richard
Richard: lol ok ur all fuck ups i need more drugs
Judy: you've come to the right place
Clove: dude have u ever been so high that burgers
Richard: have u ever been so high u turn into raimbows
Richard: wait where i am
Francis: boys are so cute when they're baked and/or toasted
Richard and Francis: *makes out for 10 seconds*
Charles: hey guys whatcha doin im drunk jsyk
Francis: score!!!!!!!1
Charles and Francis: laters richard
Bunny: whaddup bitches i mean murderers i mean friends i mean bitches
Bunny: i mean faggot twincestuals uppity asshat and poor person
Bunny: wait what the sam hill are you guys doing here with me at this spot conveniently located on top of a cliff
Henry: sorry Bunny but u are the weakest link
Bunny: *dies*
Everyone: holy shit where the sam hill is bunny
Everyone: oh wait there he is
Corcorans: hello there we could barely afford this house we live in but it doesn't matter because yolo and oh yah bunny died
Richard: can we not
Henry: stfu richard go get me a drink
Francis: charles water u doin charles no sTAHP ILY
Camilla: heehee im so pretty
Cloke: up or down?
Richard: both
Everyone: lol bye Bunny
Mrs. Corcoran: its been great but u little shits have been stealing my drugs so u better gtfo now
Richard: ok what now
Francis: im paniCKING
Richard: wat
Charles: officer i swear to drunk im not god
Richard: wat
Henry: these roses smell like raspberries
Richard: wat
Camilla: *makes out passionately with brother for 15 seconds*
Richard: wait wat
Francis: its ok Richard we've all been basically sleeping around with each other all this time i mean its all good
Richard: wtf is this i am so doNE
Charles: hey milly wanna-
Camilla: lol no bye charles
Julian: im sorry but what century is it again
Julian: yay mail
Richard: julian whatever you do dont look at that letterhead
Julian: *looks at letterhead*
Richard: shit
Henry: shit
Francis: shit
Julian: lol bye niggas im out
Dean of Studies: u little shits are so done for
Charles: ok whatevs i know i just recently avoided death but hey guys look at this wild cat i found i think i'll name him Gin & Rabies
Charles: also i think henry wants to kill me
Francis: ok wanna hang out at my crib
Charles: thats a nice truck can i borrow it and maybe ill borrow this gun too kthnxbai
Francis: hey wheres charles
Henry: oh hai guys what a pleasant surprise
Richard: sorry to cockblock you guys all of a sudden but charles has gone AWOL
Camilla: would you like some steak, richard?
Richard: sure dont mind if i do
Charles: WHADDUP HENRY IM HERE TO KILL YOU
Henry: go ahead i wont stop you
Henry: lol jk
Richard: oh god did i just get shot
Henry: im gonna do it
Richard: i think im bleeding
Henry: im really gonna do it
Richard: guys, i really think we should call an ambulance now
Henry: im takin off my glasses
Richard: for me, you know, the ambulance is for me
Henry: im pointing the gun to my head
Richard: because u know, im bleeding
Henry: this is it
Richard: but it's no biggie, I guess
Henry: ilu camilla
Richard: GUYS PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
Henry: stfu richard this is my moment
Camilla: henry no1!!!1!!!
Henry: peace out bitches
Henry: *dies*
Richard: still bleeding *passes out*
Everyone else: im out
Francis: charles please luv me
Charles: lol no
Richard: camilla please luv me
Camilla: lol no
Henry: you sad little fuck
Richard: yeah i guess its true but whatever the end
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sipping dry martinis while smoking using my cigarette holder in lingerie while listening to the original record of Cabaret instead of revising for my upcoming exams is still the best thing ever.
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*aggressively talks about gardening to total strangers*
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mumford sons: i have a beeEEEeard *jangalangalangalnag*
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